Italian researchers found that dogs wag their tails slightly to the right when they see something they like and to the left when they’re confronted with something they want to back away from.

...but you should really pick the right one for my coat. A rubber brush will promote circulation and loosen dirt. A bristle brush removes dead hair.

I get really frustrated because I can’t catch it, and I live for the hunt. So if you’re going to use a pointer, please sub in an actual toy at the end so I have something to catch and kill. It makes the game worth it.

How can you tell? I don’t seem motivated by food treats when you’re trying to train me. Cut back, and I’ll start to pay attention.

To make dogs like me look fluffy, shake a little cornstarch into the base of the fur and then brush. It will absorb oil and grease and detangle matted fur.

There’s a reason dogs circle around before getting down to business: We have an instinct to be aligned with the earth’s magnetic field before we poop. In fact, researchers watched 70 of us engage in 1,893 defecations over a two-year period just to figure this out.

A lot of behavioral problems can be solved by just taking your dog on a daily walk or by playing with your cat for 20 minutes every day.

If I have arthritis, I’ll be much happier if you give me a daily supplement that contains glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, which protect joint cartilage. And switch me to a food formulated for an animal my age.

...the first thing you should do is call every animal shelter within 100 miles of home, and visit the nearest shelters every day if you can. Many animal control bureaus euthanize animals if they go unclaimed for a specific amount of time. (For good measure, be sure to get me a microchip when I’m young.)

...ask your vet if she can remove just my ovaries, not my uterus. A much less invasive procedure, it’s the way cats and dogs are spayed in Europe, and many U.S. veterinarians have already made the switch.

So if it takes me an hour to eat my food instead of 60 seconds as usual, if I’m tiring out faster when we play, if there are more urine clumps in the litter box than usual, or if I seem to be drinking more water, call the vet right away.

...whether I’m a dog or a cat, I’ll have a better chance of living a longer life. I won’t get hit by a car, stolen, or just plain lost. But once I’ve been allowed to roam free, it’ll be hard to change me.

Some experts say I should meet 100 new people of different sizes, genders, and ethnicities in my first 100 days at home, even if it’s just a quick greeting. Make sure you include people wearing hats and sunglasses, since those accessories can look awfully scary to me.

...but it probably means that I’m itchy and would like to see a vet.

For example, you can try rolling me over on my back to see how I handle it. If I really struggle, I’m probably going to be tougher to train than an animal who lies there placidly.

If you want me to really pay attention when you’re training me, use a treat that’s moist, something so gross, you don’t even want to hold it in your hand, like a piece of greasy chicken.

...others of us just love to munch the lawn. So let me graze—just make sure the grass I’m eating is free of pesticides.

...especially if they’ve been worn. Veterinarians surgically remove hundreds of pairs from dogs’ bellies every year.

The most comfortable one will depend on how I sleep. Let me try out a few in a pet store. If I usually sleep with my legs sprawled out, I’ll be more comfortable on a flat bed without side bumpers. But if I like to curl up, I’ll probably love a bumper bed.

...if I’m licking, pulling my ears back, turning my head away, or yawning (all signs of anxiety) while they play with me, I’m probably just barely tolerating them. If you keep letting them pull my tail, one of these days, I might lose it.

No matter how high the mercury climbs or how long my hair is, I don’t need to be shaved. My undercoat actually insulates me from heat, so it helps me stay cool. Just make sure you keep my coat brushed and mat-free to promote good air circulation.

...don’t fool yourself that I’m going to run around and have fun. The truth is, I’m probably going to sit in one spot and wait for you to return. Dogs are den animals, and many of us prefer to be inside, ideally with you.

...but those hard plastic Frisbees can hurt my teeth and gums. Instead, look for a soft one at a pet store.

...your hand may as well be a meat cleaver. Instead, crouch down on one leg and look slightly away. Then let me approach you and give you a sniff.

It’s a hideous, painful surgery that’s much more like amputating the last two knuckles of your fingers. If my scratching is really bad, try glue-on nail caps.

Something is stressing me out. It may be a new person, a new pet, or even a new piece of furniture in the house that seems to be encroaching on my territory.

...keep in mind that most of us don’t like to feel cornered. I prefer an uncovered box that’s out of the way but where I have a view of the room and can escape if I see anything threatening.

I can learn to sit, come, touch a target with my nose, jump through a hoop, give you a high five, and even use the toilet—as fast as 
or even faster than a dog. Check YouTube for some great tutorials.

A 2013 study published in Physiology and Behavior found that cats who didn’t like the sensation but allowed their owners to stroke them anyway were more stressed-out than those who avoided touch.

So instead of getting mad when I knock things off the mantel, build me a cat superhighway around the room. Put up a shelf that leads up to a bookcase that leads to a mantel that leads to a chair that gets me down.

I also purr when I’m in pain or mortally afraid because it’s a self-soothing mechanism. 

I’ll get along best with a cat who’s of the opposite sex and slightly younger than I am, but don’t just throw us in a room together. Talk to your vet or a trainer about how to introduce us gradually. If I’m an older cat and I’ve lived alone with you for years, I don’t need a friend. Really. I’m already too set in my ways. 

...but you should actually consider it an incredibly high compliment. It harks back to when I was a kitten and would do the same thing to Mom so she could clean my bottom. It means I perceive you as a maternal figure.

...but I can have just as much fun with a paper bag with the handles cut off, an aluminum foil ball, or a plain box. It’s actually quite easy to create a homemade toy that I’ll love. Anything that is shiny or that I can scratch is going to make my day.

By then, I’ll be used to drinking out of the toilet and chewing shoes. Experts say it’s easier to instill good habits from the beginning than to untrain bad habits.

...you gave me such a nice pet. But now you’re mad at me for jumping on Aunt Martha. Am I allowed to jump up or not? 

...cover the entire area with an old bedsheet, aluminum foil, or strips of double-sided tape, because those don’t feel good under my paws. Then put a tall scratching post right in front of it.

...I will always think it’s OK, no matter how big I get.

My owner taught me to fetch the newspaper from the driveway and take it to him when I was ten.

I have no idea why you did that. Instead, get me outside as quickly as possible and praise me whenever I pee outdoors.

Well, give me some incentive. As soon as I start to pull ahead, stop walking. When I turn and look back, offer me a treat right next to your leg. I’ll quickly figure out I need to stay next to you in order to keep doing what I love most: moving and exploring.

...try a Scat Mat, which gives out a small, harmless electrostatic pulse when it’s stepped on. Or buy a car mat and turn it upside down on your couch, so the little rubber prongs are facing up. I hate those.

...I’m not trying to be bad. I’m just bored! I want your attention! Please, get off your smartphone and play with me.

Or you can make your own. Wrap an Ace bandage across my chest, cross it over the top of my body and then back under, going over and under until it’s midway down my back, and then secure it. The constant pressure against the middle of my body will help ease my anxiety and calm me down.

Raisins and grapes can shut down a dog’s kidneys. Other dangerous foods include chocolate, coffee, macadamia nuts, and avocado.

Make sure my diet has plenty of essential fatty acids. Most high-quality commercial pet foods have enough, but pets on low-quality foods or homemade diets that aren’t balanced may develop a dull coat.

...although you might need a magnifying glass to read it. Look for one that says the food has undergone animal feeding trials rather than one that’s been “formulated” by a computer. The trials are expensive, but they indicate that real dogs actually ate the food for six months with good results.

Researchers at the University of California, Davis, who examined 200 recipes last year for home-prepared dog food found that 95 percent had some serious nutritional deficiencies.

That’s what it is: hype. There’s nothing wrong with feeding me grains—they can actually be an important part of a balanced diet. Before you make any change, talk to your vet.

Also, exposure to my feces could put anyone with a weakened immune system at risk. That’s why the ASPCA, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and other institutions all strongly discourage raw diets.